my wonderful life..

does that make me a bad person??

2011-03-01T23:15:00.004+08:00

I know, as someone related to you, im suppose to feel joy at your apparent success.

But i dont.

Does that make me a bad person?

Ever since young, we have always been compared to one another.

Be it looks, studies, height, weight etc.

I really truly hated all those comparisons.

I do not give a damn if are prettier / smarter / more hardworking / skinnier than me.

Does that make me a bad person?

Finally i had the chance to outshine you for that short period of time.

Best part of it was, no one else (of apparent importance) exactly noticed or bothered.

For that one time in my life i had something to be proud of, everyone conveniently ignored it.

Now that you have found your crowning success, i bet you the next time we meet, there will be lots of boasting and sneering all over again.

You are generally nice to me and we use to be great playmates as children, yet i think that i sort of hate you.

Does that make me a bad person?

Sometimes, i wish we were not related.

I tell everyone that it doesnt matter and that i am not affected.

But everytime you add another success story to your life, i hear another voice telling me that you are way better than i am.

I resent you for everything you achieve.

Does that make me a bad person?

TOMORROW!!!

2010-08-15T18:55:00.002+08:00

OMG.

YOG!!!

Im mad excited about tomorrow!

Finally it is the start of my YOG duties @ Hortpark!!

The first shift started today and i sure hope everything went well.

Now its going to be MY TURN!!

On top of my duties as a FACILITATOR, i have additional duties of being the BUS HOST / OIC!!

Bus Host = MEMORISE SCRIPT so that i dont end up with nothing to say in front of the athletes tomorrow.

Keep fingers crossed that the athletes dont end up asking me questions about Singapore that i cannot answer!!

Such an embarrassment that way.

Urgh.

Now im feeling nervous as well.

I sure hope i dont mess things up!

YOG, YOG!!

2010-08-13T19:15:00.001+08:00

3 MORE DAYS TO THE START OF MY YOG DUTIES!!

Have i even mentioned how much im looking forward to it?

Its going to be such a blast, i just know it =)

xxx meishan

New school year in University

2010-08-04T12:52:00.002+08:00

Recently, i have been busy with training sessions for the upcoming YOG.

Training sessions have been tough but extremely fun and enriching.

I can hardly wait for the actual dates to arrive =)

I love to procrastinate.

But its no use trying to postpone thinking about school since the new semester is starting next week.

So I am now going to start my second year in University.

I anticipate that there will be too many things to do, but too little time for me to complete them once.

Year 2, Semester 1

I definitely want my grades to become better but with this, i know more hard work is needed from me.

Even though it seems like the students in Chem Engine are superbly smart and insanely hardworking, im not going to give up.

Who is afraid of more hard work?

Not me.

Ive been recently thinking about all the time that has gone by.

Have i made the correct choices along the way?

Should i have chosen this path instead of the other?

Would i have been better of if i decided to follow this direction instead of the other?

Does it even matter right now?

It matters to a certain point, but i will not let it affect the future.

My studies is what matters the most right now.

That, on top of taking care of my parents and watching over my sisters, will take first priority over everything else.

I will be successful in the coming years because i believe i can do it =)

xxx meishan

Meet up with lan ren men

2010-03-07T21:23:00.007+08:00

Finally got to have another LAN REN gathering yesterday.

It was the perfect timing, seeing how YY dajie's birthday is today, GIS dadajie's birthday was last month and AH HWEE dadada jie's birthday was in January.

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAYS TO ALL 3 OF MY JIE JIEs!!

I know its too late to even mention now but hey!

Its not like i didnt wish them on the day itself =)

Just thought it was worth mentioning here now as well.

Before the fateful day (yesterday), AK and i met up to go BIRTHDAY SHOPPING!

Had loads of fun deciding what to buy for each one of them as we wanted every gift in the 'birthday bag' to be personalized in a way.

This was done by purchasing items that reminded the 2 of us about that particular birthday girl.

Seems to be a ritual for a LAN REN gathering to include singing K.

Teo Heng at Katong seems to be the number one choice for them since i let them do all the planning and we always end up there.

No complains though.

The place can be a little cramp but for the low price, i think its totally worth your money.

Seems like im really getting out of touch with mandarin songs.

Used to be abreast of all the latest mandarin songs when i was in TPJC for that one year because the LAN RENs will keep me updated and posted.

But ever since i went to Shanghai, English songs are what fills my itunes and so, it is no wonder that i feel pretty lost when we first started out.

My jie jies quickly noticed rather quickly that i was unable to join in the singing and so, they started choosing the 'older songs' (meaning those that were released in 2007 or so) so that i can actually take part in the singing.

It wasnt really a problem though..

To me, i was contented enough just being able to spend time with them and listen to AH HWEE jie and YY jie squabble.

Reminds me of the old days where the highlight of the school day would be spending time with the rest of the LAN RENs and having the time of our lives.

Had a scrumptious STEAMBOAT dinner and was so full and bloated after that that i couldnt even bear the thought of food itself.

Dinner was a pleasant affair with lots of chatting and laughter.

Love the stories that they shared with me with regards to their working experience =)

I know that its pretty dumb for me to even think about such things but i cannot help feeling that there is some sort of barrier between YOU, YOU and me.

True, you guys still regard me as part of the group and call me out for gatherings and stuff but did you all ever realise how LITTLE you actually speak to me in the process?? I might be way sensitive of this because its what im the most afraid of.. growing apart from one another.. but then i realise that its just happening with me. The rest of you are still as chummy as i remember you guys to be. Seems like that 1 year in JC2 that i missed DID put a strain on our friendship. Nothing too serious but bad enough for me to feel the hurt at times. I really really do miss the times where we use to be able to talk about everything under the sun and now, all it seems like you all dont really want to talk to me? Or it might just be because out of the 5 of us, YOU and YOU were the ones who were the least close to me since we were not given much chances to be alone together. Not to mention the extra bond that you all formed after the A levels where you all went to work in pairs.

I am not surprised at the outcome.

Just wished that it could be different somehow.

Thank you all for the great times.

I wish i could tell you guys how i really feel but im afraid that will do more harm than good.

No point thinking over unhappy stuff.

I shall just focus on the joy the outing brings me, not the doubts.

Every good thing has to come to an end and so,

as what AH HWEE dadada jie said

'See you all when i see you again'

Till then.

Take care LAN REN men =)

PS. ALL THE BEST FOR THE UNI APPLICATIONS!!

Let me know the results when you all get them =)

xxx meishan

DCS memories

2010-01-26T00:03:00.002+08:00

I have been having dreams about my friends from Dulwich College Shanghai (DCS) recently.
Wonder what triggered off this series of dreams.
They are not consecutive of course, more like random shots and plots all over the place.

Probably starting to miss the people there already.
The feeling is especially prominent when i speak to Bongo or MK and we reminisce the times we spent together.
The 'expensive' lunches we use to have at Coffee Beanary, East West, Secret Recipe or Starbucks weekly.
The 'productive' free periods we use to enjoy in the Common Room or on the Second Floor of the library specially reserved for the IB students.
Not forgetting the teachers-turned-friends who made lessons so enjoyable and manageable that sitting in lessons became a joy and not a chore.

Funny how i am suddenly reminded of all of these.
Amazingly, i find myself missing every single thing.
Those were hard times.
Sleeping at 2am and waking up at 7am daily.
Yet, the lack-of-sleep did not deter us from enjoying school and having crazy moments.
Giving each other words of encouragement and congratulations when we realise that another day in school has passed and we successfully struggled through another day.
Loads of Internal Assessments piled up and we fought to keep up with the deadlines.
Test after test after test came along to plague our lives.
And yet, we managed to pull through everything.

Now that everything has ended and i can safely say that that 'era' of my life is truly done with, i find myself missing it.
Why is it that the hard work does not seem that murderous anymore?

If i could turn back time or make time stay still, i cannot promise that i will choose to relive those 2 years of IB 'hell'.
But i will keep all the memories we have created during that period of time and look back with utmost fondness.

Life's lessons

2010-01-06T10:31:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wonder why Life has to be that way.

Why does things you dont want to happen still happen eventually?
Why is it that people are never what you think they are?
Why the people you care about do not follow what you want them to do?
Why is it that there are days you wake up feeling so blue and days you are just unexpectedly joyful?

It all comes down to the lessons in Life.
Always expect the unexpected.

I hope i will be better prepared the next time round.

xxx meishan

studying blues once again.

2009-11-14T11:43:00.003+08:00

There we go again.

Its the time of the year once more.
Studying blues, welcome back into my life.

Come to think of it, this year must be a significant year in the 'academic years' of my life.
The IB exams were over not too long ago (though it feels like years ago) and now its time for the first set of exams in my university life.

Not sure where my motivation is though that is not one of my pressing concerns now.
The more important task is to find my self-discipline again.
I had some form of it at the beginning of this year but it has slipped through my fingers.
Time to locate it and fast.

Two more weeks to go.
It has striked me how hard some people are studying and in comparison, i am such a lazy bum.

Stupid stupid stupid.
Those scholars are going to be the death of me.

Nevertheless, im not going down without a fight.

19th year on earth.

2009-10-05T14:29:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

And so i start the 19th year of my life.
My 18th year on Earth has been a great one.
I made loads of new friends and have had my proudest moment in my life so far.
I can brag about gaining lots of new experiences and successfully completing high school.
Sure hope this year will be as eventful and fruitful as the previous year.

Thanks everyone for all the birthday wishes =)
Love you all loads.

curse and swear

2009-09-05T19:28:00.002+08:00

Ew.

I cannot believe how lost im feeling right now.
I want to do my tutorials so so badly, but i have a huge problem.

I AM NOT ABLE TO DO THE EVEN THE FIRST QUESTION OF ANY OF MY TUTORIALS!
Or maybe its just me.
Talk about putting people off.

The super smart kids in my tutorial group are scaring me.
They can do like EVERY SINGLE question and my page is filled with blanks.
Talk about being demoralised.

I want to go out so badly but then, i have to bear in mind the consequences.
Not having enough time to complete my work.
Talk about having a non-existant life.

To sum up,
Math tutorial seems easy, techniques that i should be able to employ, but i cannot solve the questions.
MLE tutorial is pure madness. Someone tell me why i even need to learn this?
MATLAB assignment is so confusing, its indescribable. Seems to be written in a totally different language.
Japanese Studies is fun. But how are we going to decide on our essay title??
Singapore-India lecture is interesting. But the readings are enough to bore anyone.

Math sucks.
MLE sucks.
MATLAB sucks.
JAPANESE STUDIES PROJECT sucks.
SINGAPORE-INDIA readings sucks.

Life is wonderful.
I love my life.

xxx meishan

oh well..

2009-08-29T17:58:00.000+08:00

Right.
So we didnt manage to meet up.
Now i know why i dont like to plan outings.
Because i will definitely get pissed off if all my planning came to naught at the end.
Poor ah boy.
Hope he doesnt feel bad right now.
He told me he was fine so i shall take his word for it =)

Anyway, math tutorials are a killer.
Like what is L'Hopital's rule?
Its crazy.
I dont even understand it.
Not to mention ,the new tutorials and readings for the next week.
All left untouched at the moment.

WHO TOLD ME THAT IB WAS THE HARDEST THING EVER?!
I TOTALLY BEG TO DIFFER.
THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE.

Right, as what my math lecturer would say.
STAY COOL AND CALM.
Everything will work out eventually.

I just hope that it wont be too late by then.

xxx meishan

turn those tutorials into ashes and be gone with the wind

2009-08-22T15:52:00.000+08:00

Its the end of the second week of school.

Tutorials are due to start next week.

I am officially stressed up already.
So many tutorials to do and I do not have to ability to even complete ONE of them.

So tell me wise one,
HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH THE NEXT 4 YEARS IN UNI??

Time to turn those tutorials into ashes and let them be gone with the wind.

start of uni life

2009-08-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

Right.

I have been too lazy to update my blog and China actually banned blog after the end of my IB exams so i didnt get to update.

Pictures of my after IB life has been posted in FB already so i doubt i will put up any here.

Back in Singapore for about 3 weeks already.
Life back here is alright i suppose.
But i do miss Shanghai and the spitting-champions there.
Not to mention i miss Dulwich as well.

My IB results were not awesomely wonderful but...
it was good enough to make me shed tears of happiness when i first received news of it (from mrs brinn through email).
It was good enough to make my parents and family members proud of me.
It was good enough to bring in choruses of CONGRATULATIONS from friends and teachers.
It was good enough to grant me acceptances from universities.
It was good enough to give me entrance to the course that i deemed 'unattainable' at the start of my high school life.

And for all these reasons, i am happy enough.
There is no need to obtain a perfect score to bring a sense of satisfaction.
The fact that my grades more or less already reflect all the hard work (sweat, tears, sleepless nights etc.) that i put in during this period of my life is a good reason enough to celebrate.

But now, the celebrations are over.
The relaxing period of time has ended.
My brains has had sufficient time to tour the world and return.
I guess i can say that i have had a good rest already.

All ready to start a new period in my life?
Not exactly but then i guess there isnt a choice is there?
Rather start school now than wait another year to do so.. at least my brain is still in working order now.

First week of school this week.
The timetable planning is a true headache but good fun in a way as well.
First lecture yesterday wasnt too bad.
More to come tomorrow and on friday.

Time to brace myself up for the new challenges put in my way.
Note to self: Do not be intimidated by those smart people sitting around me in the lecture theater.. i am, in every way, as good as them to be even sitting in there.

Watch out people, a future first-class chemical engineer is on about to be born =)

" Everything starts out difficult before becoming easy."

'GOD BLESS ME'

2009-05-10T17:15:00.003+08:00

The next week is going to be the worse week ever.

Hectic schedules
Crazy long papers (heck! i have 5hrs 15mins worth of exams on tuesday!)
Rushing home to continue studying for the next day's paper

I suddenly remember the times back in Hai Sing when we were very very generous with our blessings and have this hourly-routine where we say / shout
'THANKYOU TEACHER, GOD BLESS YOU!'
at the end of every lesson before the teacher leaves the classroom.

Now what i want to say is,
'THANKYOU TEACHERS, GOD BLESS ME!'
because god (... and everyone else) knows, i need to be blessed more than you at this moment.

the moment ive been dreading, yet waiting for..

2009-05-03T19:46:00.002+08:00

My 200th post and its about something REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT.

TOMORROW MARKS THE START OF MY IB EXAMS.

This is what ive been working hard for for the past 2 years.
This is the moment that ive been waiting for, yet dreading as well.
This is when i show how capable i am to the examiners.

Im definitely keeping my fingers crossed for the next 15 days or so.
Hope that everything will turn out splendid.
I want to reap what i sow, that is not asking for too much is it?

WISH ME LUCK PEOPLE!

DCS ' 09 PROM & GRADUATION

2009-04-07T16:11:00.009+08:00

DULWICH COLLEGE SHANGHAI
FIRST GRADUATING CLASS '09
GRADUATION DAY
PROM

Graduating Class 2009

Philippa - Raghav - Rowan - Matt Carter - Matt Champ - Marissa - Jade - Hunter - Daniel - Shannon - Ben - JiYoung - Bo - MK - Sue - Edward - MeiShan - Samantha - Rosalyn - JJ - Anton - William - Andrew - Melissa - Zoe - Hayley - Kelvin

graduating award =)
reminds me of the university stuff..

the cute 'award' given to me
my award is the nicest according to the others =)

Last Official Day (2 April 2009)

the 'school-girl' theme for the day

the DCS girls famous pose
'motorcycle riding'!

i think all the girls in the level are here except for shannon and sam..

the girls with ms brinn (center in black) and ms wood (right at the 'top')

the most outstanding girl in our level!
nah. not me.. the one beside me..
the best artist and student, philippa =)

Prom Night (2 April 2009)

GRADUATING CEREMONY~

trying spotting me

found me already??

and i get my award =)
my eyes look WEIRD~

ONE, TWO, THREE!!

graduating 'caps' flying in the air!

from another angle..
it looks really cool!

MY GORGEOUS FRIENDS =)

jade-y wade-y and me =)
jade is SO PRETTY!
she looks just like a model!!

melissa better known as mel =)
she is SO PRETTY TOO!!
help me.. all my friends are so gorgeous!

Left to right: hayley, me, bongo and mk =)

Left to right: phili, jiyoung and me =)

Left to right: phili (she got caught in the photo!), jade-y, me and mari mooooo =)

Left to right: sam, jade and me=)
Top: Matt Carter
we look HAPPYYYY~~

INTRODUCING MY FORM CLASS
13GP
the coolest form class ever with the most awesome form tutor.. MR PYPER!!

WE LOVE 13GP!!

THE MOST MATHEMATICALLY-INCLINED STUDENTS OF YEAR 13
we are truely higher level math students..
dont doubt our abilities!

together with our beloved teacher grimmy!!
'When you meet with troubles in future,
just think to yourself
"WHAT WOULD GRIMMY DO??" ' - grimmy

the last day of school can only be described with one word
UNFORGETTABLE

the first graduating class of DCS can only be described by one word
AWESOME

the teachers we have can only be described by one word
FUNKY

the group of us can only be described by one word
BRILIANT

We are the brightest starts shining in the night sky.
We can and will make it to the end.
Love you all =)

Signing off,

the one and only,
me =)

2009-03-31T21:03:00.002+08:00

The prom is in 2 days.
Oh man.
I dont even know how i feel about it.
Irritated in a way but then again,
isnt every girl suppose to feel excited about their proms?
Why am i the odd one out??

Right.
I shouldnt be thinking about this.
Exams are looming up ahead i should WORK WORK WORK!!

I have such a sad, non-existing life.
For now.

childhood happiness

2009-03-19T20:37:00.005+08:00

Time is irreversible.
But if i could just turn it back,
i will make sure that i kept my childlike happiness that is almost non-existent by now.
The happiness derived from a child is from the simple things in life.
If we could just learn to be satisfied and happy with what we have,
happiness will be obtained with ease.
Learn to be happy with what you have.
Instead of thinking of what you want,
remind yourself of what you have.

The world is complicated as it is already.
Happiness is suppose to be simple.
Do not complicate it.

gearing up..

2009-03-13T21:05:00.002+08:00

The past 2 weeks have been a blur.
I think i have been too stressed out by the upcoming exams.

Special thanks to my parents who encouraged me throughout this period of time. =)

Not forgetting those lovely friends of mine who were there to spur me on to do my best.

I will try very hard to strive for the very best now.
Afterall, it is the last lap in the 2-year long race.
Im reaching the finishing line and i want to get the medal that ive been aiming for.

All talk and no action does not allow me to achieve that.
So its time to put my thoughts into action.

Wish me luck people =)

WISHING ALL A'LEVEL RESULT RECEIVERS BEST OF LUCK

2009-03-05T20:17:00.002+08:00

TO ALL MY FRIENDS IN SINGAPORE RECEIVING THEIR A' LEVEL RESULTS TOMORROW:

BEST OF LUCK TO ALL OF YOU!!!
HOPE THAT YOU GUYS CAN GET THE DESIRED RESULTS THAT YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO.
DONT FORGET TO SHARE YOUR HAPPINESS WITH ME =)

MY SECONDARY SCHOOL FRIENDS,
MY BESTEST FRIEND SHINI,
MY PAE TPJC 07S24 FRIENDS,
MY TPJC 07S24 FRIENDS,
ANYONE ELSE THAT I KNOW,

BEST OF LUCK!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!

2009-02-28T17:45:00.002+08:00

There's one sole purpose for today's blog post.
To wish my WONDERFUL & BELOVED DADDY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

and to let him know that
age doesnt matter
because
age is complimenting him.

Wisdom comes with age,
my love for my daddy increases with age as well because i am now mature enough to realize how much he has sacrificed for the family.

DADDY,
i love you
and
i always will.

you know you are.

2009-02-20T21:43:00.004+08:00

A comical collection of
'you know you are in the IB'
* Credits does not go to me except for the last one

YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN THE IB WHEN...

you go to bed at 1am in the wee hours of the morning and think to yourself "YAY! I ACTUALLY GET TO SLEEP EARLY TONIGHT!!"

you read your favourite novel of all time and this runs through your head "THERE IS ALLITERATION OVER HERE... OH! I SEE A SIMILE PRESENT IN THIS LINE... A METAPHOR AS WELL!! ... WOW! THERE IS A LEXICAL FIELD OF POWER AND DOMINATION IN THIS CHAPTER..."

it is a normal friday in school and someone sees your long face and tells you to cheer up because the weekends are here and this is what you reply "I TOTALLY LOST TRACK OF TIME. ITS SATURDAY TOMORROW? I CANT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE WEEKDAYS AND THE WEEKENDS ALREADY."

and the NUMBER 1 reason why you know you are definitely in the IB is when

you go to bed one night and you actually dream about BEING IN CLASS AND FAILING AN IMPORTANT ASSESSMENT.. THEN YOU LOSE CONTROL OVER YOURSELF AND START CRYING LIKE A BABY IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS

Oh yes.
The last event is based on my personal experience.
So what is the key message i am trying to convey to my readers?

Don't take the IB unless you have lots of stamina.
Otherwise, you are only out to make yourself suffer a slow death.
I'd rather die quickly, thankyou.

PISSED

2009-02-17T21:22:00.002+08:00

IM PISSED OFF AT EVERYTHING.

EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS IN MY LIFE NOW.

JUST FEEL LIKE FINDING A HOLE TO LIE IN AND DISAPPEAR.

*&*^&^(*&(^^$^&%^&**)(*&@@£$@%)((*$£@@!@£

i think hamlet is influencing me too much.
I am even starting to think like him.
IOC today was a disaster in my opinion.
May be due to my high hopes and expectations.
The feeling of not meeting your expectations suck to the maximum.
I cant even talk properly now.
Stupid astrophysics is becoming mush in my brain.

I promised myself that i will not write a single vulgur word either on paper or anywhere else.
But the temptation is getting to much for me to resist.

One day,
i may just do it.

"To be or not to be, that is the question" - Hamet, Act 3 Scene 1
can be interpreted as,
"TO LIVE OR NOT TO LIVE."

Thats what literature has taught me.
Read between the lines.

Im crapping now.
Im being a moronic idiot.
But who cares?
Im pissed.
Everything in life is so unfair.
I do all the work and people just get it with a stroke of a photocopying card.

I must learn how to say no.
I must learn how to refuse people.
I must learn how to stop bothering about other people's feelings since no one cares about mine.
I must learn how to protect myself,
why am i torturing myself because i am going to help someone else?

Urgh.
Officially in stage 1 of mental breakdown.
Moving on to the next stage.

IA mania

2009-02-13T20:38:00.003+08:00

IA MANIA

Start of the weekends,
start of my torture.

Hope i make through the weekend.

Perseverance is the key to success.

And success is what i will have at the end.

* I believe in myself =)

happy happy happy =)

2009-02-11T21:18:00.003+08:00

Had my parent-teacher meeting today to discuss mock exam grades.
It was a pleasant meeting with no major hiccups.
My teachers were all praising me to the skies and commenting on how capable i am.
I sure hope that i am as good as they claim.
My head is now a few times bigger than it was this morning
Ha!
But it will shrink by tomorrow morning again.
Im not one to be conceited for too long so yea.
In fact,
it may get deflected within the next few minutes when i attempt my math homework.

Another reason for my joy is that the mock IOCs today were better than i expected.
Mr Dolan was very helpful and i think i can improve even more so that my actual IOC will be better than this.
But nevertheless,
im really pleased with my performance though there were some awkwardness during the front part due to nervousness.

Okay.
Its really late now.
Time to start doing some work.

** 81 days to start of IB exams.

February - the worst month

2009-02-07T16:31:00.002+08:00

This month is going to be hectic.
All the incomplete IAs to rush.
English oral commentary and mandarin orals to go through.
Syllabus to finish.

The depth of it all is going to threaten to suffocate and drown me.
But i will prevail.

S
U
C
C
E
S
S

will be mine.

CNY 2009

2009-01-27T19:52:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!

I have to say,
this year's CNY is definitely special.
Yesterday,
the first day of CNY,
the most important day in the 15 days of the Chinese New Year (with the exception of the CNY eve reunion dinner),
was spent at home.
HAHAHA.
Yes.
At home.
With the television and books for company.
Best of all,
we actually forgot to 拜年.
We were THAT in touch with the special occasion as you all can tell.

Today,
the second day of CNY,
was spent with a nice show at the circus 上海马戏城 in the morning.
Walked and walked and walked through 南京路 in the afternoon.
Oh oh!
We remembered to 拜年 today already. =)
HEEEEEEEEEEE.

Before i go off,
i have to specially mention the NICE FIREWORKS that were in the sky from 12-12.30am on January 26.
Everyone in the area seem to share the same wonderful idea to release fireworks at the same time and the dark sky was illuminated with beautiful, vibrant colors that sparkled in the air before disappearing.
Its SO BEAUTIFUL!!
I actually lay down on my bed and watched the firework display.
Right from my bedroom window.
The sight is wondrously amazingly unforgettable.
Words will not do it justice so i shall not even try to explain =)

Okay.
I shall post some pictures tomorrow or something when i decide to upload the pics into my laptop.
I SHOULD be off to do some homework before watching a movie later on.

Adios people!!

2009-01-20T19:54:00.001+08:00

TIRED.

HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY SHINNN

2009-01-18T18:41:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEISHIN!!!!
HOPE YOU HAVE A GREATTTTTT BIRTHDAY TODAY.
YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD AN UNFORGETTABLE DAY =P
non the less thanks to me of course.
hehehe
you still have pressies left with me right now.
i will let you have all of them at the end of tonight.

Im really glad that we are able to make your birthday a special one this time.
treat it as something to make up for last years 'not so special' one.
Anyway,
this year's birthday is the last year where your age will be a single digit.
After that you will join the double-digit-age world.
=P

Love ya meishin.
And
happy birthday again.

mocks are over, so am i

2009-01-14T16:20:00.002+08:00

The mocks are over,
and so am i.
Somehow the papers seem so difficult even though i studied so hard for it.
Well,
kind of.
I mugged for my HL papers namely

PHYSICS

CHEMISTRY

MATHEMATICS

So much to the extent that i neglected my
POOR ECONOMICS.

I sure hope that i dont end up failing econ or something.
Oh well.
Its just the end of mocks,
not the end of IB,
so the race is not over
yet.

Have to go and rush my CAS diary tonight.
Due on friday.
Till then.

CURSE THE STUPID MANAGEMENT PEOPLE!

2009-01-09T17:51:00.002+08:00

OMG.

CURSE THE STUPID MANAGEMENT PEOPLE OVER HERE.

IDIOTS WHO DONT HAVE THE ABILITY TO SOLVE ANY OF THE PROBLEMS BUT CREATE SO MANY MORE FOR US.

INCOMPETENT
INSOLENT
IDIOTIC
IRRESPONSIBLE
IGNORANT
INCORRIGIBLE

FOOLS.

urgh.

happy new year 2009

2009-01-06T22:09:00.002+08:00

At last my stupid macbook is fixed.
Actually this can be considered a blessing in disguise.
Im actually having my mocks now so my laptop died at the right time in a way.
Because it died last week,
i had no laptop to use.
Thus, i spent my time fully on revising for my mocks and not playing on the laptop.

Another good thing that came out of this incident is..
i get a free upgrade to leopard.
So i guess i will forgive my laptop for dying on me this time.

One last thing to add before i go back to mugging for my mocks:

THANK YOU MEISHI FOR HELPING ME BRING MY LAPTOP TO THE APPLE CENTRE!!
I LOVE YOU!!! =)

Alright.
Back to work.
Happy new year everyone.
(seems pretty late to say that but whatever.)

my macbook died.. AGAIN.

2008-12-31T13:08:00.004+08:00

Oh great.
My macbook died on me again.
Somehow the hard disk seem to crash every six months.
I absolutely abhor my laptop at the moment.
Pretty, yes.
But practical, not really.
You dont exactly want a laptop that dies on you every six months do you??
Thank goodness i actually saved all my work on my thumbdrive previously.
Imagine the horror if i didnt.

Anyway.
Its the last day of the year 2008.
This is surely an unforgettable year for me.
The year full of new experiences and friends.
The year filled with laughter and joy as well as sadness and irritation.
I turned 18 this year as well so its even more special.
I sure hope that the new year will bring even more memories worth remembering.

Enjoy the last moments of this year.
For the next will bring even more obstacles and satisfaction for everyone.

tired.

2008-12-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

Just one word to describe how i feel now:

tired.

2008-12-21T13:33:00.001+08:00

DONUTS MANIA!!
Dont you guys just love donuts and the yummy cream in it??
im sure my sisters and i do =)

2008-12-18T16:03:00.003+08:00

OMG.
I hate these people.

EXCUSE ME!!
They are the ones who are earning OUR money.
They are the workers, WE are the 'bosses'.
Why do they think that they have the 'POWER' to decide what time they want to come and do the job?

What??!!
They said that they have to do it now because they are FREE at this moment,
when we are FREE they will be BUSY.
Yea right.
Im an idiot to believe that.
All you see when you walk around the streets are these people SLACKING.
Busy my ass.

Talk in such loud voices like they own the place.
YOU GUYS ARE IN MY HOUSE OKAY?
MY HOME.
NOT YOURS.
WHAT GIVES YOU THE AUTHORITY TO RAISE YOUR VOICES AT MY MUMMY??
GO TO HELL.

Im thoroughly pissed off at these people already.
Too many bad experiences with them to dismiss my views as STEREOTYPING.
I hate them.
Yes, i do.
Im sorry for saying this,
but you people are not earning the respect of the foreigners.
Forgive me for my anger,
but when you want to be loud and obnoxious,
please check to see if you have the right to do so.

2008-12-18T12:18:00.003+08:00

CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!

But.
I will have to spend it preparing for my upcoming mocks in January.
Oh Poo.
I have so much revision to do and so little time.
And,
my room and table is in such a mess.
Its time i file up those worksheets and rearrange those books.
After that,
its study time.

2008-12-12T20:36:00.001+08:00

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

This is so true.

2008-12-12T20:18:00.002+08:00

STUPID STUPID ME.
I ACTUALLY LEFT THE CLASS WITHOUT TAKING MY MAC CHARGER BACK FROM MATT.
NOW IM STUCK WITHOUT A CHARGER FOR THE WEEKEND.
WORSE OF ALL,
IM NOT EVEN SURE IF MATT TOOK MY CHARGER WITH HIM OR LEFT IT IN MR JOHNSON'S ROOM.
EITHER WAY, IT DOESNT SOUND VERY OPTIMISTIC.

CRAP
CRAP
CRAP
.

PHYSICS IS MY LIFE..... NOT!

2008-12-03T22:28:00.002+08:00

I love physics.
I know it with all my heart.
The sudden realization dawned upon me just now when i was doing my Internal Assessment.
The intense enjoyment that i feel cannot be expressed using words.

Okay.
Naughty girl.
Enough of telling lies meishan.

my nicest human drawing =)

2008-12-02T23:25:00.003+08:00

Okay okay.
So i was suppose to be studying..
but i got bored so i started doodling.
To my surprise, something nice actually came out of my doodling!!
i know that this is actually not that nice
but if you know my standard of human drawings,
this is like SUPER DUPER PRETTY ALREADY!!
So im proud of this.
=)

OH oh!!
Something else about my 'wonderful' drawing..
Do you think that the girl is sad or angry??
I cant actually decide.
She looks both angry and sad,
depending on how you see it.
So yea..

See??
Told you i was studying.
Really hard work.
Im such a goodie goodie girl =)

COOL SOUND SYSTEM!!

2008-12-01T20:29:00.003+08:00

OMG!
THE NEW SOUND SYSTEM IN MY HOUSE IS SO SO SO SO SO COOL!!!
THERE ARE LIKE 5 SPEAKERS + 1 SPEAKER SPECIALLY FOR THE BASE SOUNDS!!!

LALALA..
im going to have a good time listening to music / songs while i work on my latest economics role play preparation.
Guess what im going to be this time??
Representative / Spokesperson for the World Trade Organization.
I go from being a Presidential Candidate to some important person in the WTO.
Gosh.
Im just that great.

2008-11-29T10:20:00.003+08:00

Hearing all of my friends' holiday plans makes me feel left out.
They are all either going to work now or prepare for the driving test.
Where does this leave me?

Not to mention the upcoming prom next week that i definitely cannot attend.
Sadness engulfs me,
but you know what??
Ive got no time to brood over all of these.
There are so many essays waiting for me this weekend.
The soon-approaching deadlines for all my important assignments are catching up with me and i have to get started on them.

Okay.
I guess it is my turn now.

CUDDLES THE BEAR =)

2008-11-19T17:56:00.002+08:00

My Pretty Little Tatty Beary

Mummy got this bear for me today =)
Such a sweet thing!!
Its fur is SOOOOOOO SOFT!!!
hehehe..
i actually wanted a HUMONGOUS TEDDY BEAR but this is alright too =)
It actually is the right size for me to hug.
Really nice to cuddle...

RIGHT!
I GOT THE ANSWER FOR YOUR QUESTION MEISHIN!!!
I SHALL CALL THE BEAR CUDDLES!!
=)

Im such a smart lass.
hahaha..

Im happy.
At least for now.
Im easily satisfied.
A new teddy bear is all that i needed to make me happy =)

2008-11-18T20:13:00.002+08:00

I feel happy for you people back in singapore who have completed (or are almost completing) your A' LEVELS.
Suddenly, i wish that i was back there because this will mean that i would have been done with all the mugging.
Oh well.
I can go on and make a REALLY LONG, NEVER ENDING LIST of 'my wishes' but there would not be a point in doing so.

Therefore, the sensible me have decided to spend my valuable time on more constructive things,
like deciding on which TOK essay to write,
or working on the surprisingly-difficult probability, permutation and combination chapter.
Have load to catch up on in math.

Adios.

DULWICH WINTER FAIR 08

2008-11-15T21:39:00.013+08:00

DULWICH WINTER FAIR 08

THE PIGGIES~~
meishi bought them for mummy during the fair..
they are so cute!!

Christmas Icing cookie making =)
Before

-after-
this is mine..

this is bingo bongo's..
mine looks so much nicer right??

-before-

-after-

bingo bongo's =)
it looks like a donut to me..

THE AIR GUITAR COMPETITION

look the the little girl from the right
she is the champion =)
the cutest air guitarist ever seen!

she is just so irresistibly cuteeeee!!!

DULWICH COLLEGE SHANGHAI WINTER FAIR 2008

Its was a really fun day at school.
All i can say is that im thankful that my guitar lesson was canceled at the last minute and i got to attend the event.
This is the last time i would be able to do so as i wont be here next year already.
I wont write too much as i have a lot of work to catch up on now.
All i will say is that im really grateful that i have things like this to remember in my life.
Fun things that are worth remembering.
They will certainly bring a smile to my face in future =)

2008-11-14T22:02:00.002+08:00

Somehow today seems to be a UNIVERSAL BAD MOOD DAY.
Most of us seem to be in rather low spirits.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

(That sounds so cliche..)

presidential simulation

2008-11-13T22:44:00.002+08:00

Great.
I get to have a taste of being a presidential candidate for an hour tomorrow.

Oh yes.
Im going to be the republican candidate.
You know my feelings towards the whole american presidential election,
that would explain the 'enthusiasm' im experiencing now.

I was so worried about this thing ever since last weekend.
But now that it is a day before this 'event',
im seriously nonchalant.
No feeling at all.
Nothing.
It is a good thing actually.
I wont want to worry about this.

Whole college photo tomorrow.
Wonder how they are going to go about doing it.

2008-11-09T23:08:00.002+08:00

TODAY MARKS THE DAY OF MY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY IN SHANGHAI!!!

I have definitely grown up a lot during this period.

For the better i hope.

I wanted to have a long post for this but then i really have to study for my chem test.

Just thought that no matter what, i should write this down.
Afterall, it is a special day in the history of my life =)

me and my wonderful mouth

2008-11-08T23:01:00.021+08:00

Gosh.
I really have to be careful with what i say from now on.
Somehow my words seem to carry some 'power'.

Last sunday, my sister, daddy and i were debating about the American Politics thing.
My sister and i were saying how much we dislike McCain because he reminds us too much of Bush.
The very next day, Mr Johnson told us that we are going to have some 'American Presidential Campaign' simulation in class next friday to test our level of understanding of Macroeconomics.
All of us are suppose to have different roles to 'act' as.
Know what character role i got??

Drum rolls please. REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE
A.K.A
JOHN MCCAIN!!!!!

God.
What have i done to deserve this??
Out of all the people in the class,
I HAVE TO BE THE ONE WHO GETS TO BE THE REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE.

My and my big mouth,
i should not have insulted him too much the night before..
Look at what happened after that??

Just before i went for yoga just now,
i got dressed in my usual yoga gear but i put on a nice pink sweater and a new scarf that mummy bought.
Mummy was warning me not to wear the new scarf because i would be sweaty and stinky after yoga.
I was just telling her that since it is really cold now,
the temperature in the yoga classroom would be really low as well,
which means that the chances of me perspiring would be really low.

Yea.
And guess what happened after that?
I went to the usual yoga classroom and to my astonishment,
the clubhouse have decided to change the lesson to HOT YOGA.

IF YOU WANT TO ASK WHAT HOT YOGA IS?
IT SIMPLY MEANS DOING YOGA IN A FREAKING HOT ROOM!!!
IT WAS LIKE 41 DEGREE CELSIUS IN THE ROOM.

I
WAS
PERSPIRING
SO
MUCH
THAT
IT
SEEMED
LIKE
I
JUST
TOOK
A
BATH
IN
THAT
ONE
HOUR
I
WAS
IN
THERE
!

urgh.
Just my luck for things like that to happen.
Im going to watch what i say from now on,
just in case something else like this happens.

If my words must carry such 'power',
why cant it choose the good things that i say to come true??

That would be awesome.
But too unbelievably lucky for it to happen to me.

PS.
I love you meishi =)
Oh oh.
And you too meishin =)
i have to mention both names just in case they get into a fit of jealousy.
Now,
i wont want that to happen would i?? =P

DCS mid-term break

2008-11-07T10:19:00.002+08:00

I have a one-day mid-term break.
Wth.
Why would they even consider calling it a mid-term break when there is only one day?
Gosh.
This is really super weird.

It is almost a year since i have been to Shanghai.
Wow.
Time really passes so quickly.

2008-11-06T20:02:00.001+08:00

IT IS OVER.
AT LAST.

Now that i have one less to do,
there are a gazillion more to go.
Way to go meishan.
Work harder.

i cant 'rest in peace'

2008-11-04T22:52:00.003+08:00

You can call it a premonition or gut feeling.
You can even take it as it is just me worrying too much and being too stressed.
But somehow,
i just have this feeling,
it is apparently quite a strong feeling,
where i know that the TOK presentation does not really seem to go with the IB criteria.

Blame it on the fact that im a really cautious person.
I dont like to take risks,
to be more exact,
i dont dare to.
The fact that our presentation is really quite quite different from the others make me wonder if we are doing the right thing.
Despite teacher telling us that it is definitely on the right track,
i still cant 'rest in peace'.

Call me mean for doubting the teachers,
but i really do not have much faith in them.
In fact,
im really quite apprehensive of what they tell us.
Im sure their intentions are good,
but are they really experienced enough to guide us along the right path to success??

Maybe i am being a bit edgy over here tonight,
but i just cant help but wonder,
am i really on the right path now?
Or am i already straying further and further away into darkness.

words

2008-11-03T11:06:00.001+08:00

Be careful with what you say,
it could just result in something dreadful.

2008-11-02T21:19:00.002+08:00

I feel a sense of achievement now.
Jade and i actually managed to finish our english project within 2hrs.
=)

Woots.
I cant believe that the 2 of us actually have so much self-discipline.
We did SOLID TWO HOURS OF WORK NON-STOP.

Good Job Jadeeeeee~~~

Time to study for math test.
Just before i go off,
one last thing to say

GOOD LUCK FOR THOSE TAKING A'LEVELS !!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM

2008-11-01T22:15:00.004+08:00

the heart shaped chocolate but on the green tea cake that we ate =)
its really tasty..
the cake i mean, i didnt eat the chocolate.
gave it to meishi since she loved it..

a really cool birthday sign in chinese!
you know those 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' signs they give you to put on the birthday cake??
we actually got this in chinese this time
so cool
ive never seen something like this before..
proves that im in china right?? =D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY!!!
MAY YOU ALWAYS BE HAPPY =)
I LOVE YOU!!

2008-11-01T17:33:00.003+08:00

The joy of being able to put a tick next to and cancel an item on my TO-DO LIST.

Stuff that are done (at last)

Extended Essay
SAT 2 - subject test (for this time anyway)

Stuff that are almost done already

World Lit Essay
TOK Presentation
Economic IA 3

Stuff that i have yet to begin working on..

Study for math test on matrices and vectors
Understand the incomprehensible Quantum Physics
TOK Essay
The Wars Project (doing it with Jade tomorrow i think)
Math exercises on Complex Numbers and Mathematical Induction

Crap.
I realised that my third list is equivalent to the other two lists added together.
This is no good.

Urgh.
No matter how much i have done,
i always have more waiting for me.
When will i ever be able to look at my list of work to do and say,
IM FINALLY DONE WITH EVERYTHING!

Im waiting for that day.

2008-10-30T23:08:00.002+08:00

I just realised how time consuming English is.
Took close to 3 hrs to annotate one commentary on Hamlet.
Gosh.
And it was not as if i was distracted or something,
i actually spent 3 SOLID HOURS ON IT!

Sheesh.
Now i have to rush to complete all my other work.

** Im so tired. Can i go to bed and just ignore all my other work?? =S

my life sucks

2008-10-30T11:21:00.001+08:00

I hate my life.
Everything just has to go wrong.
What exactly have i done that is wrong?

the weird things in life

2008-10-28T21:31:00.003+08:00

The weird things in life..
Its really funny how somethings can turn out the way they do.

Why does something that seemed so great at the beginning turn out the exact opposite at the end??

Its really weird.
Why must it be that way?

IB and its effects

2008-10-27T22:22:00.006+08:00

Correction.
The IB Diploma will be main cause of it all.

** The feeling of stress is OVERWHELMING.

2008-10-27T22:22:00.001+08:00

TOK will be the cause of my early death.

2008-10-24T20:47:00.003+08:00

Daddy and mummy's gifts from MeiShi.
Introducing Wormy Daddy and Wormy Mummy =)

Family Portrait
From left to right:
Wormy mummy, Spoty the dog, Whiskers the leopard, Chili the giraffe, Wormy daddy

HAPPY FAMILY =)

2008-10-24T20:36:00.002+08:00

I felt like i just HAD TO praise myself for my hard work today.
I actually managed to control myself and work hard in school.
Every minute and second was not wasted. =)

Had 4 interviews today with various teachers.
Thanks MS BRINN for spending time to read through every single one of our essays.
Thanks MS SCOTTI for telling me where my WL essay has gone wrong.
Thanks MR JONES for talking to me about my tertiary stuff and assuring me that my predicted grades were not flukes.
Thanks THAT NICE LADY who came into our school today to give us the mock interviews.

This week is CHINA WEEK.
The rest of the senior school actually got to go to different parts of China for fun.
However, the yr 12s and yr 13s had to stay behind.
Im not complaining though.
This week has been rather productive.
We have so much work to complete so i guess its just as well we were given this week to complete our stuff.

MeiShi seems to have enjoyed herself at YANGSHUO.
Her stories are just so entertaining though i have to admit,
i have not been listening to them intently.
Was too busy rushing through my EE.
I shall find time talk to her.

Now that my EE is completed (more-or-less),
i have to turn my attention to WORLD LIT ESSAY.
Then, in no particular order,
ECONOMICS IA
TOK PRESENTATION
MATH TEST
SAT II

Oh well.

2008-10-23T20:51:00.002+08:00

I HATE MY MACBOOK WITH SUCH PASSION THAT I WANT TO DESTROY IT IN THE WORST WAYS I CAN COME UP WITH

2008-10-20T21:19:00.002+08:00

OMG.
Im delirious with happiness!!
My extended essay is almost done!!
After all the pruning and editing that ive been doing to my essay for the WHOLE DAY,
it is starting to seem acceptable to me =)
I just hope that ive got everything that i need over there already..
i seriously dont have many words to spare now..

The limit is 4000 words.
Not one word more.
Somehow, this is a VERY IMPORTANT POINT to take note as ms brinn has stressed OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
At the moment, i have 3979 words.
This is a very good number of words to have and i dont exactly want to add on anymore.
Hopefully i dont need to make major changes to it anymore.

Time to do the abstract for the essay.
I cant believe that im actually happy to do this.

Because once im done with the abstract,
it will mean one thing.
I CAN CHUCK MY EXTENDED ESSAY ASIDE AND PAY ATTENTION TO OTHER WORK! (hopefullly..)

Wish me luck people! =)

2008-10-17T19:25:00.002+08:00

We got back our term reports today.
I actually managed to improve my score =)
Not by a lot but at least there was an improvement,
this would mean that i am one step closer to my goal.

To my intense surprise,
i actually didnt fail my economics test.
In fact,
i got 20/25.
I seriously think that mr johnson was really lenient.
Wonder if there are any marking errors..
i shall go and look through my paper later on and check.
Unbelievable.

Maybe miracles do happen.

my gradually increasing haterd

2008-10-16T19:58:00.002+08:00

Economics is the most logical yet hard-to-remember subject ever.

No words can describe my irritation now.

2008-10-15T21:55:00.002+08:00

So everything went well.
As far as i am concerned..

But im really freaking out about the IB.
Now i really understand why only the really smart pupils in singapore take the IB.
Its not the syllabus that is different,
it is all the EXTRA STUFF that we have to do on top of the normal syllabus.

Internal Assessments for every subject
Extended Essay
TOK Essay
TOK presentation
CAS activities

Note to parents: if you want your children to live a happy life, dont let them do the IB
Its a slow and painful death.

parent teacher meeting..

2008-10-15T16:35:00.002+08:00

Oh great.
Im having a parent-teacher meeting later on at 6 plus.
Not that i have anything to worry about anyway, right?

My parents want to see the IB coordinator,
who i have to say,
is a SUPER scary lady.
Sure hope that everything goes on well.

Oh Oh
My parents actually dont want to see any other of my subject teachers.
They said that they dont find a need to..
Guess thats a good thing?

Okay.
Shall try to get some work done first before leaving.
Im such a nerd.

the love for rabbits

2008-10-14T21:16:00.010+08:00

Mandarin class was hilarious today.
There was a new teacher as the other one quit her job.
The guys in class were so excited about seeing this new and supposedly younger-than-the-other-teacher new teacher.
They were off the the classroom even before the bell rang!!

She was nothing like they imagined.
Not going to say much but that they guys were really disappointed.

It seems like she is going to work us harder than jian lao shi did in the past.
She gave us a piece of paper with REALLY SIMPLE WORDS and told us to make a story out of it.
The words were easy but the making a story part is not easy at all!!

Highlight of the lesson...
Mostly everyone gave really nonsensical passages but ben's top the list.
He's was clearly the best!!!

The words we were given were:
爱
八
把
爸
吧
白
百
班
半
办
帮

His story went like this.. (i shall translate directly.. you may not see the link if you dont understand chinese.. if you do, look the the above words then translate the passage below into chinese and you will get the joke)

What ben wrote for his story..
My father wakes up at 8am everyday to catch rabbits. He gives the rabbits to me to kill. One day, i FELL IN LOVE WITH A RABBIT. I decided not to kill it. In the end, the rabbit and I HAD 100 LITTLE RABBITS.

** I better clarify first.
I DID NOT WRITE THE STORY.

HAHAHA!!!

The class was in nearly in tears and we were all red in the face after we heard teacher read this out. But to give prove ben's sanity, let me write what he meant to have written. He just didnt know how to phrase it properly in chinese..

The actual meaning of the story..
My father wakes up at 8am everyday to catch rabbits. He gives the rabbits to be to kill. One day, i found a cute rabbit and did not have the heart to kill it. I decided not to kill it. In the end, due to the fact that i had let the rabbit live, it gave birth to 100 little rabbits.

HAHAHAHAHA.
This is really a classical example of translation gone wrong. He thought of a sensible story in his head and in english but when he wrote it in chinese, it came out totally wrong!!

Oh well.
We really had a good time laughing.
It was hilarious.

I love it when such things happen in class,
makes it more lively =)
Wish this happens more often.

2008-10-13T22:27:00.002+08:00

Today was tiring,
as usual..

Found that i really am deteriorating in my studies,
ESPECIALLY MATH!!!
I use to be able to do many many math questions without much problems but that ability seems to have escaped me recently.
Oh well,
have to find time to do catching up.

Next week sounds like a good time,
since the wonderful school has planned such an 'exciting' programme for the year 13s that include 2 full days for us to complete our school work.
Guess it would be beneficial,
since i have like essays to rush and revision to be done.

Okay.
There goes another boring post related to education.

As you can infer from my blog,
my life revolves around studying.

** Wonder what my limit is.
When will i actually break down and give up.
Come to think of it,
I'd rather not find out.

2008-10-12T20:45:00.002+08:00

Urgh.

I dont understand how people can actually do well in economics without even studying.
I study so relatively more than them and i still dont do as well.

Oh Poo.
I hate it when this type of things happen.
Deflates my confidence and motivation to study.
I mean whats the point of studying so hard when people who dont study do even better??

2008-10-12T10:35:00.000+08:00

Hamlet is my life.

Okay.
I lied.

2008-10-11T16:00:00.003+08:00

Crap.
I actually managed to have over 4000 words!!
Now i have to do the reverse and reduce the number of words =(

So much for moaning about not being able to hit 4000 words..

EXTENDED ESSAY

2008-10-11T12:59:00.002+08:00

EXTENDED ESSAY MARATHON

** i truly, seriously hate ee..
im not getting the help that im suppose to be receiving =(

2008-10-10T21:14:00.002+08:00

Today was horrible.
Economics Quiz was the worst ever.
It was data analysis and we were suppose to analyze 4 graphs to do with Spain's economy.

I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE GRAPHS WHERE SHOWING AT ALL.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN GREEK FOR ALL I CARE AND I WONT HAVE UNDERSTOOD IT BETTER!!

So you all can guess,
i panicked.
And panicked.
In the end i gave up all hope of even passing the test.
Come on,
my answers for parts B, C and D CONTRADICT one another..
As we are talking about the same country's economy,
it is obvious that it cannot possibly be contradicting right??!!

Screw it.
I know i failed.
Its just a matter of how badly.
Mr Johnson seemed amused by my reaction though..
i must have looked like i wanted to cry and scream at the same time.
He assured me (thanks a lot.. like its going to help make me feel better),
that i was not going to get an egg for the paper since i got 'some points' right here and there.

Had a really horrible afternoon after the quiz,
couldnt help but feel pissed off at myself.
Come on,
how come my classmates can decipher the graphs and i cant??

** im still rather pissed off actually

2008-10-09T19:28:00.003+08:00

Played scrabble after school today with the year 7s and 8s.
Aww..
They are really cute and quick-witted.
Looking at them reminds me of the care-free time i used to enjoy when i was little.

Humans are always not contented with what they have.
When i was in primary 5-6, i use to complain about having to do more than an hour of work at night.
Then i moved on to lower secondary and i use to wonder why i have to take so many subjects and the total workload increased by quite a fare bit.
Then came upper secondary, the 2years prior to GCE O Levels. Studying has never been that tough and i struggled to stop myself from doing too much frivolous and unnecessary things.

Now its the 2 years prior to IB.
Life has never been that insane.
The work load is so much that i have to work for 4-6 hours every night JUST TO GET HOMEWORK done. (though i must admit it included chatting and listening to music..)
Internal Assessments and essays pile up so high that it threatens to bury me underneath all those words.
Stress level is at an all time high (most of the time) as i try my best to meet datelines, produce quality work and meet the outstanding expectations that my teachers have for me.
However, somewhere within this horrible time of my life, school actually manages to become fun and enjoyable.
Lessons are hardly a bore (most of the time..) and the teachers are animated and jovial.
Crazy friends make me laugh till i get out of breath and the teasing gets really amusing.

I have to say that i am growing up.

Ive learnt to always look for the silver lining in the grey sky.
There are times when it can be REALLY DIFFICULT to find it,
but if you persevere,
the task is not impossible.

Dare to dream the impossible.

it hurts. it does.

2008-10-08T19:56:00.004+08:00

I want to love my life,
and not be stuck right here.
But everything that i see or hear now,
only seems to make things worse than what they were.

I knew that this would happen eventually,
just never thought that it would hurt this much when it does.
I psycho-ed myself to think that it would be alright,
and was so successful that i started to believe it was true.

But lying to yourself never works,
for everything will be revealed at the end of time.
I know i will get over it,
when i finally make up my mind.

Till then,
it still hurts.

pissed off

2008-10-08T16:29:00.004+08:00

Oh great.
I had double super shock this morning.
Thanks a lot but i really dont appreciate such things

Electromagnetic Induction test is not next thurday, IT IS THIS THURSDAY, meaning it is TOMORROW!

Feel so pissed off now.
I dont even understand this topic fully and we are going to have a test tomorrow??
I dont want to fail the test.
According to the rest of the guys, the only comfort they can see in this situation is that all of us are equally unprepared for the test, so we can all die tomorrow together.

Thanks guys,
but i dont really want to die yet you know..
Those guys are really smart though,
the only reason why they are not doing well for now is that they dont bother studying for tests.
Wait till they start studying,
they will all do better than me with ease.
Im not going to like that..

Higher Level Physics is really a killer,
and im the only 'smart' girl who is taking it.
The other girls in the level either take biology or physics at standard level.
Smart people.

No point crying over spilled milk though,
instead of moaning and anticipating my death,
i'd rather try to die in the nicest way possible.

**
take a deep breath,
steady your heartbeat,
hold back your swear words
and
welcome to my life.

2008-10-07T19:05:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEO AK!!!

You are now officially 18 years old too!!
Did you realise how nice i am?? I actually didnt laugh at you for being a baby even though i had 2 FULL DAYS to do so!!
Heres wishing you all the best and all your wishes come true..
I know that we are now legal to do MANY MANY THINGS but knowing you, since you are just like me, we wont be doing any of those things in the near future.. except maybe watching M18 shows if there are nice ones screening.. heeeeeeeeee.

There are just so many things piling up now.
Somehow all the teachers love giving us work at the same time.

Economic quiz on friday
EE draft due next monday - which i am no where near completing it for now..
Physics test on electromagnetic induction next thursday - crap.. i dont even know what the topic is about.. so confusing.
World Lit Draft - i dont even understand what ms scotti is writing so have to go and see her..
Economic IA - what is my article even talking about?? i dont really have an idea you know..
TOK Presentation (early next month) - have not even started it yet.. should talk to zoe about it.
SAT II

Things that i KNOW are going to come up in the VERY NEAR FUTURE..

Math IA - mr g even gave us the stack of samples to take a look already..
TOK Essay - first draft due in december i think

Dont know if i missed anything out but you get the gist of my words right??
I have so much work to do now and im feeling SO TIRED..
Too bad for me and my friends then =(

Okay.
Enough time spent here.
Off to be a nerd =)

** Thanks to JADE and MATT for giving me my birthday bash today.. all i can say is thank goodness im only 18.. can you imagine if im 80 and they have to bash me 80 times??!!

*** Thanks to SUE for the lovely roses and the hug!! I LOVE YOU TOO!!~~

to my dearest sister, meishi..

2008-10-06T22:27:00.003+08:00

happy BIRTHDAY to MEISHI
!!!

May all your wishes and dreams come true..
Now that you are 15 already, act more matured okayy?? =P
Joking..
Just want you to know that i love you loads
Dont get jealous unnecessarily..
Take things easy,
its beneficial for a longer life.
Lastly
Dont harp too much on unhappy stuff
learn to let go.

Okay.. im really busy so i better go off to continue my work.

** I hate physics. Oh yes i do.

I AM 18!!

2008-10-05T23:08:00.011+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ~~
THIS MARKS THE START OF THE 18TH YEAR OF MY LIFE..

thankyou DAJIE for the drawing!!!
(im not a baby now!!!)

Im officially 18 today!!
Actually i dont exactly feel ecstatic about the whole thing.
The presents are cool and everything but..
Okay.
Im going to say it.
Dont laugh after reading it.

i feel old

Yup.
Thats why.. i feel old.. 18 years have past since i was born. Thats a long way.
But i have an even longer journey ahead of me (i hope..) so very soon these 18 years would become part of an even larger number.

(Wonder how i will feel when i turn 21..)

Anyway, it was an enjoyable day. The cool weather contributed to the lovely feeling in me. However, it was not exactly the best day i could have because i have so much work to rush before school reopens on tuesday. Oh well. It could have been worse.

Let the pictures do the talking now. =)

FOOD!!
ITS REALLY GOOD. =)

meishi and her lunch.. think its chicken..

meishin and her brunch!

daddy and his shrimp thingie..

my yummy pork and fries!!

** The photo with mummy in it is really blur so i deleted it..

my daddy and mummy.. =)
their back views..

IN THE RESTAURANT!!

talking session..

my sisters!!

them again.. they really love to take photos.. unlike me.

the bottles of beer in the restaurant..
its blurred.. wonder why..

mirror reflection!

MY PRESSIES!!!

drawing done by MY DADDY!! =D

this is a hello kitty calendar.. even though im not an avid fan of hello kitty, i have to say this is really pretty =)
and i love pretty stuff!

this lamp shade is really REALLY pretty right??
i thought so too.. =)

meishi gave me this 'soft-toy doggie' bag..
cute =)

ROSES!!
i actually mentioned to mummy that i wanted a balloon when we were walking home because i saw some kiddies carrying balloons.. to my surprise, she went and bought me this instead.
"This is more befitting for someone who just turned 18."
heeeeeeee..
totally agree.

MY BIRTHDAY CAKE =)

i actually didnt want a cake this time.. due to the crazy milk scare in china.. in the end i decided that a birthday without a birthday cake cannot be considered a birthday.. so yup. got one despite the scary thoughts that came along with it..
BUT IT TASTES REALLY GOOD!
MANGO-CHOCOLATE CAKE =)

Oh.
Before i forget, i want to express my thanks to all those who wished me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY today.
Its really sweet of all of you to remember it even though i didnt mention it at all.
Had quite a few surprises and unexpected wishes.
Seems like some of the people whom i expected to remember this day didnt do so and some whom i didnt even think would remember my existence actually did...

This is life i guess.
Always expect the unexpected.

Since i am now one year wiser (and older), i shall try to act more matured and 'adult-like'. hehehe..

Okayy.. even though it IS still my birthday now, i need to get on with my ee..

Adios.
(AND IM 18 PEOPLE!! I CAN NOW WATCH M18 SHOWS, PURCHASE CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL!!!)
(not that i actually want to but yea..)

** Im not going to point fingers and blame anyone for forgetting but i just want you all to know, that somehow, it really hurts, as much as i try to convince myself otherwise.

S-I-N-G-A-P-O-R-E!!!

2008-10-04T22:19:00.003+08:00

Went to ba bai ban today with my family.
I finally got to eat the SINGAPOREAN CUISINE that they have been talking about..

the front cover of their menu..
they actually even have a short history on Singapore on the first 2 pages =)

meishin with her lollie!!!

Went back to school this morning.
Only the 10 of us were there for it.
Somehow because of the atmosphere, it doesnt really feel as scary and stressful as it is suppose to be.. which is a good thing!!
I can say that all of us were very relieved and happy when it was over.
Everyone was grinning their heads off when we were let off but then someone had to remind us about the HUMONGOUS PILE OF UNDONE HOLIDAY HOMEWORK waiting for us at our respective homes..
You can imagine the silence after that.

Anyway..
Im not looking forward to tomorrow.
I know that i am suppose to but somehow i dont want tomorrow to come.

Oh well
tomorrow will come as it is suppose to.
Be realistic girl,
you cant stop or turn back the time.

but i can always wish and dream cant i??

2008-10-03T21:51:00.001+08:00

Scared

Worried

Uneasy

Restless

Irritable

Undecided

Tired

.

2008-10-02T22:50:00.002+08:00

Nothing much to blog actually.
Did homework the whole day..

What kind of life am i living?
Gosh.
Its so boring.

2008-10-01T23:23:00.004+08:00

Credits to dajie =)

She sent me this lovely personally drawn (i know you drew it personally dajie.. who else would draw this?? =D ) for children's day..

OH OH OH!!!

Im so sorry dajie and everyone else who has emailed me and i have not replied..
This week is really hectic for me and knowing me, I LOVE TO COME UP WITH LONG EMAILS and i dont have the time to do so for so many people so i came to the painful decision (YES IT IS PAINFUL) to not reply anyone for the time being until i settle my crisis..

Till then..
adios!

T-E-N-S-I-O-N

2008-10-01T23:02:00.004+08:00

TENSION.

Its scary how suddenly it can happen.
Sneaks up right behind you and give you a scare.

Had a tiring day today.
Went studying with BONGO YUM YUM at starbucks..
I REALLY DID STUDY OKAY??!!
But we had a wild time chatting as well =)
Somehow even talking to bongo is a real laugh.. makes me cry at times.. heeeeeee

Aww.. bongo.. you know I LOVE YOU =)
And i know you love me too.. you said so SO MANY TIMES, in SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS =D

Extended Essay is a headache indeed.
Really induces me to mumble (see?? im still really refined okay..) some not so nice sounding words.
Have to pray really hard that my EE is going to end up okay..

Crap.
I still have WORLD LIT ESSAY to worry about.
Yup Bongo. You were right.
This week is no holiday.
Its more like study-leave.
No,
its worse than that.

BEFORE I FORGET..

HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY EVERYONE =)

no matter how old you are,
you will always be a child to your parents sooooooooooooooo
everyone, YES EVERYONE(!), is entitled to celebrate this day =)

May the child in you remain forever.

2008-09-30T23:23:00.006+08:00

i absolutely love this song.
no idea why.
guess its one of those unexplainable stuff in life..

FIVE MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT
~ BOYS LIKE GIRLS ~

Brown eyes and lungs are filled up with smoke
Fast lives are stuck in the undertow
But you know the places I wanna go

'Cause ohohoh,
I've got a sickness
You've got the cure
You've got the spark I've been lookin' for
And I've got it planned we walk out the door

You Know You wanna just let go,
It's time to roll down the windows
Sing it oh oh oh
We got all we need
So here we go

Turn it up
It's five minutes to midnight
You're comin' home with me tonight
I can't get enough, shakin' me up
Turn it up
Alright
At five minutes to midnight
You see our name in city lights
We'll make the clock stop
Make your heart drop
And come alive

We could pack up
And leave all our things behind
No fact, or fiction, or storyline
'Cause I need you more than just for tonight

You're oh oh oh like air
I can't stop my breathing in
I'm weak and you are my medicine
I won't stop till I am under your skin

You Know you wanna just let go
It's time to roll down the windows
Sing it oh oh oh
We got all we need
So here we go

Turn it up
It's five minutes to midnight
You're coming home with me tonight
I can't get enough, shakin' me up
Turn it up
Alright
At five minutes to midnight
You see our name in city lights
We'll make the clock stop
Make your heart drop
And come alive

And when the clock strikes twelve
Will you find another boy to
Go and kiss and tell
'Cause you know I never will
I think we should strike a match
And we'll hold it to the wind to
See how long it lasts
We can make the time stand still

Turn it up
It's five minutes to midnight
You're coming home with me tonight
I can't get enough, shakin' me up
Turn it up
Alright
At five minutes to midnight
You see our name in city lights
We'll make the clock stop
Make your heart drop
And come alive

Turn it up
It's five minutes to midnight
You're coming home with me tonight(tonight)
I can't get enough, shakin' me up
Turn it up
Alright
At five minutes to midnight
You see our name in city lights(city lights)
We'll make the clock stop
Make your heart drop
And come alive

home alone

2008-09-30T13:14:00.002+08:00

My parents and sister have gone out.
Im stuck at home on my own because i have work to do.

Oh Poo.

I really hate having so much work to do and somehow no matter how much i do, there still seems to be heaps more to complete.
If only the amount of money can follow this principle.. i would be rich.

** I AM TIRED.

2008-09-29T12:02:00.003+08:00

I am so hungry.
Really have to stop eating so much already.
It doesnt help that it is now autumn and people generally get more hungry and eat more during the cold months. =(

I have been doing my homework at my patio the whole morning.. i have to say that the view is really pretty but the traffic is pretty irritating. Howevery, THE NICE WEATHER MAKES UP FOR EVERYTHING ELSE UNPLEASANT so im fine with this. hehehe..

Okay. Time to continue my work.

words of wisdom

2008-09-28T20:05:00.001+08:00

Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won"t keep you there.
=D

the theory of the jigsaw puzzle

2008-09-28T19:28:00.003+08:00

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle.
Sometimes you cant seem to find the correct piece to fit.
But believe this: At the very end, it will be a completed puzzle.
So even if we seem to be getting the wrong pieces at that very moment in life, we shouldnt give up because we must think of the whole picture at the end.
The ending WILL be perfect.
Just like the perfect, completed jigsaw puzzles we have seen in our childhood.

(Dont tell me that you have never played with jigsaw puzzles before in your entire life okay..)

yoga =)

2008-09-27T22:21:00.002+08:00

Can you believe it??
This is the first time my muscles actually ache immediately after yoga lessons..

Oh!
Today's yoga lesson is really fun. hahahha..

The weather in Shanghai really changes very quickly.
Just 2 days ago it was still SUPER HOT AND HUMID and now it is really REALLY COOLING =)
Just like when you are in an air-conditioned room =D

2008-09-27T16:06:00.000+08:00

To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.

HOLS ARE HERE AGAIN!!

2008-09-26T20:09:00.002+08:00

Its only been one month since i started school and we are having another one week holiday =)

hehehe..
Its China's national holiday !!
One week break from school but seriously, the homework that we have to complete within this time frame is CRAZY!!!

** because things are the way they are, things will not stay the way they are

2008-09-25T23:53:00.001+08:00

im TIRED

time to go to bed

just finished studying for chemistry test but because of this, i didnt do the rest of my homework..

shall do it during free period and lunch tomorrow

beauty sleep here i come!!!

shortage of.. TIME

2008-09-24T16:49:00.002+08:00

GOSH.
I have so much work to do and so little time to complete them.
Now i know what i really want.. a time tuner (like the one in Harry Potter) where i can go back in time. Then i can have loads of time to complete my stuff..

I have a chemistry test on acids and bases on friday and i cant even do my worksheet on it.

Okay.
So pH = -log [H+]
then pOH + pH = 14
Thats about all that i know.
The questions are so much harder than all these..
I better go and study it soon.

But before studying, i have to complete some homework first..

YUCK.
My blog seems to be full of accounts of me doing homework and studying.
Im such a boring person.
Maybe i should say that im an interesting person with a boring life.
Yea.. that sounds better.. =)

Tata!!!

stressed out!!

2008-09-22T17:57:00.003+08:00

I just found out about my predicted scores today.

My teachers have predicated that im going to get 41 points for my IB with out including TOK and EE.
This means that im expected to get like 7points for 5 of my subjects and the remaining subject would be 6points.
In case you dont know what this point system is like, for the IB diploma course, we use point systems to calculate it. 7 points is the maximum you can get for one subject. I guess its equivalent to an A.
In other words im expected to get 5 As and 1 B at the end.
43 points when you include the other components.

43 points out of 45.

HOW IN THE WORLD AM I GOING TO PERFORM UP TO THEIR EXPECTATIONS????!!!!!

I know that my friends in school think that im really smart and hardworking BUT IM NOT!!!

Oh great. I have never felt so much pressure on me before.
Its like everyone is expecting me to do exceptionally well for the IB but it is a really REALLY HARD COURSE!!!

Crap.
What am i going to do now??

TOK

2008-09-21T10:30:00.003+08:00

THEORY OF KNOWLEDGE

This subject is really...
~ difficult yet logical
~ confusing yet it makes lots of sense
~ hilarious yet somber
~ boring yet intriguing

Yes. It is. Im not crazy. I know that they are basically the opposites but it is true. Certain topics are really interesting while others are like sleep-inducing. Well, to me it is.

But i have to say, it is rather fun to learn so many new things in the lessons. The essays we have to write are DEFINITELY no piece of cake and the presentation criteria is really demanding but the lesson and learning part itself is FUN =)

However, it is not a very nice feeling for your beliefs to be questioned. Imagine someone telling you that what you have believed for your entire life is actually not true and they have evidence to back it up!!
That is why they say that this subject is for you to learn how to question yourself and if you believe something, you have to be able to back it up with concrete evidence and prove to others that it is true.

And i have to tell you, it is not easy.